I’m scared shitless about this one thing: dying somehow while im technically still alive. I start thinking “don’t die before your body dies” and I panic because no one ever sees it coming.
Do you ever feel this way?
I’m reaching the end of my 20s, and in that decade I have seen it happen a few times, and each time I think I wont let it happen to me.
You know it, most people reach adulthood, they start taking on a few responsibilities, then more and more. They start cutting on their hobbies or passions because they have to do this and that, they think they will pick it back up when they get more time ‘later’. Many never get back to things.
I note for myself that I stopped my previous website to focus on studying, and that now I have wanted to pick back on this I am a total noob again, and its hard. I also stopped drawing and painting and playing piano and am battling serious confidence issues on those now… But I’m picking it back up, I have a plan, and I am really going for it.
Then there’s if you want children, which I do at some point in the future, and that’s when some people go a whole leap towards their death.
Sorry for the morbid much.
A lot of people have children and before they know it they no longer exist, their existence is their descendants. They make a commitment that they see as needing full dedication for the next 18-20 years. They think they will have time when the children are older, they will pick things up where they left them.
It’s normal and healthy to do all you can to raise your children and build their future, but when I hear things lile that I wonder if it’s really so impossible to see and understand how much we have the potential to change, and how much daily life habits imprint on and mold who we are. If you are not yourself for a long period of time it’s all too easy to forget, and to be influenced by your current surroundings.
On another note… It’s a terrible thing to do to live your life through your child. You are basically putting two or three lifetimes’ worth of pressure onto them and we can all agree one is enough. Worse, you may be depriving them of opportunities to know who they are and how they can live happily and inspired.
I feel such sadness when talking to people who have gone this way, I realise they are missing their spark.
So in attempt to live by my motto, to live inspired, I am first actively picking things back up that I left out even though they made me happy. I want to see if I still enjoy them as much. I am seeing traps and trying to escape them, and if I can help you do the same I’ll be very glad for it. I want us to shine, and be freaking majestically happy, and do exactly what we want to do with our lives.
So far the results are positive, I love having my own corner of the Web again. I look forward to posting, and growing the site. I can’t wait to discover new ideas and things. I won’t let myself die before im actually dead.
Part of it is also to keep going when I get interested in something, by doing it as a project, and never denying myself an experience if I want to try it.
I’m running on this big belief that I might save myself, and maybe I can inspire those around me as well so we can live inspired together.
It’s too hard to see stars burn out.
Have you noticed this phenomenon too? Have you given stuff up out of some sense of duty? Don’t you just want to pick them back up now? If so…
If you are worried about someone near you, make sure you are in sync with yourself first and share this to them so they might think about it too. It’s usually no use saying it straight out to them, it’s best if they think about it in their own way. Plus it’s not fun realising this might be happening – I know.
Don’t die before your body dies.
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