Hello, I’m Mathilde
I seek to Live Inspired, and I want to share this passion with you here!
I want you to catch this bug with me: the wanderlust, the thirst for discovery, for understanding, for love, enjoying and creating your very own journey, the more that life can offer you, being accountable for your ambitions, acknowledging your desires and pursuing them.
Did you know that words are like little potions? They come in all sorts of shapes, bottled up in cultural and personal meaning, changing hue and effect depending on the person you are speaking [...]
Today ‘s is a long post.
You know these times when you get a nagging negative feeling you made some epic mistake and you just can’t shake it off? I’ve had a lot of those lately.
I have been racking up my brain, and often ended up with nothing to show for it but getting completely overwhelmed.
I just could not let go of this thought: when it comes to making choices for my own happiness I keep doubting whether I am making the right ones, or whether I am actually making any choices at all.
I formed a vague suspicion that the “choices” I felt I was making were actually reactions to events or conditions I was unsatisfied with.
With this in mind, I set out to look at my decisions from then on and understand why I made them. Over the last couple of months every time I reached another crossroad in my life (big and small) I would do this.
Luckily, I am in the process of making big changes right now (I’m starting my own side-hustle & taking the next steps in my career) and I want to make the right changes for the right reasons as I will be investing myself entirely into my current projects and I don’t want to live with regrets.
Guess what? It was true. Somehow, without noticing it, I had developed a kind of reflex: I react to something around me, setting myself on a huge tangent rather than staying true to myself.
At the source, I was unhappy with many aspects my day to day lifestyle and didn’t fully recognise myself. Every time I made a new decision I started off from that perspective and sure enough, I was unable to make a successful choice.
Surely that is the wrong way to go about making any decision whatsoever…no?
I realised that I had made an epic mistake. Over & over again.
As you may have guessed, the reason I didn’t love every little bit of my lifestyle, was that I hadn’t even given myself the option to make the right choices.
I’m certain I’m not the only one doing this, but taking a moment to really think about it is hard. Have you also fallen into this trap?
So here is what I’ve taken from this experience:
Not all goals are equal.
Why run around chasing stuff that will not make us happy?
Pursuing things that are not what you really want to do or be means surrounding yourself with people and things that are not on your wavelength. Worse, it means cutting yourself out of the right circles and opportunities to make the right choices along the way. It’s as if little by little you are drifting father and farther away from your true desires, getting lost.
I’ve also realised that by taking detours towards what I really wanted, I’ve entirely confused myself. I have openned new doors, which surely is a good thing, but what is the point if it’s got nothing to do with who I want to be. Is this really what I want?
Achieving a goal that is not in sync with your true self is akin to running away from yourself – you are doing something out of character rather than building your character & reaching for your dreams. A goal you pursue for the wrong reasons is worth less because it doesn’t fit in to your life puzzle. Not only that but it is also harder to achieve as it is not natural, and if you fail at it you may harm your self confidence for no good reason.
If like me you have found yourself thinking you have made many decisions based on incorrect perceptions…there’s hope!
There’s always hope.
Here’s what I’m doing now:
I’m going to bet on me. It sounds over confident and outlandish but really that’s all there is to it. I’m not compromising. I’m turning a blind eye and death ear to naysayers and I’m looking at my dreams in view of answering the following questions:
- Is this still a dream of mine?
- Is this my biggest dream?
- How can I make it happen?
It’s simple and that’s what I need. Simply put, I remember that as a kid all I wanted to do was create stuff. That didn’t stop all through school until I thought I needed to prove I could do “something more serious”.
So I’m creating. It doesn’t matter what. I’m refining my skills and my goal in all things is to create a positive, enriching and creative lifestyle and environment for myself. Anything that goes against that is dispensable to me from now on. Let’s see where that takes me, but I have a good feeling. I’m already sensing greater satisfaction in daily life. That has to be a good sign.
What will you do?